9 Easy Ways To Say Goodbye To Toxic People In Your Life

The word ‘toxic’ gets thrown around a lot but it’s usually used if someone/group of people are just unappealing and unhealthy to be around. It’s not easy to see ‘toxic’ people when you’re associated with them on a day to day basis but they may be easier to spot after reading this.

What Is A ‘Toxic’ Person? (Spot The Signs)

  1. Someone who criticises you far too often. This is one of the main traits associated with a toxic individual. People who critizise your life decisions, saying you need to behave in a certain way or do certain things. Toxic people also tend to never really be happy for you, always make you question why you have made certain decisions. These are the people you shouldn’t have in your life.
  2. People who have a negative mindset, unable to see the positive in any situation. They try and bring you and the whole group down by spreading their pessimism. You don’t need someone to constantly devalue and chastise any situation. Strangely there’s a lot of good in many situations, but it’s easy to let someone convince you that everything’s bad. Don’t allow them to indoctrinate you with their own negativity.
  3. They Play the victim all the time, sound familiar? You get the blame, nothing is ever their fault, their actions and consequences suddenly become your responsibility; right… There are so many people guilty of this, using their insecurities and jealousy to tear you down to their piteous, victimised level. Don’t allow others’ insecurity tear you down, you are not to blame, you haven’t done anything wrong. The hardest bit is to stand up to this, but give it a shot and it becomes easier with time. Do not accept victim blaming.
  4. Manipulative people. Criticising you into acting/behaving a certain way and doing exactly as they want you to. You may do this out of fear of losing your friends and being on your own but you have to realise you are better off without these people. No one should control how you act or behave, you are your own person and can make your own informed decisions. You are not wrong for not wanting to do something, the only wrong thing is trying to impose your own agenda on someone else.
  5. Jealousy. This also links in with people not being happy for you or any decision you make, it all boils down to jealousy. They can’t admit it but they are jealous of what you have/achieved and want it themselves. In order for themselves to feel better they pick on your ‘flaws’ to hide their own insecurities. Be proud of your achievements and your happiness, take the jealousy as a compliment (they’re secretly happy for you!).
  6. People who don’t care. They may seem emotionless and feel no remorse with anything they say even if its hurtful. You could fall out with a friend and they can easily disregard it, not even ask if you’re OK, and if they do it’s only to stroke their own precious ego. You know when something is disingenuous, don’t fall for the trap.  Everyone’s true colours come out eventually, even those closest to you, spot it and do something about it.
  7. Don’t take responsibility for their actions/can’t acknowledge mistakes or apologise. This ties in with playing the victim. You’re the one that has to be sorry, you caused this, and this, and this. No. You didn’t. It takes a real coward to avoid responsibility and not have any ability to own up to mistakes and apologise. It also takes a coward to apologise disingenuously. If you can see someone avoiding any responsibility and having a complete inability to genuinely say sorry, it’s probably time to move on.
  8. Only talking to you when they want something. This boils my blood and it’s so easy to recognise. Funny isn’t it, your message asking how someone is, if they want to do something gets completely ignored. But when someone requires your services, empathy and generosity, they’re fully attentive. Stop giving yourself to people who simply want to use you up for all your kindness. It’s so easy to do when you’re manipulated by these people and criticised when you don’t do something they want. But we all know when this happens, so seriously stop being so nice, learn to say no.
  9. Not sticking up for you. Ever been in a situation where you could use a little help, a little back up from your mates, but they haven’t delivered? Yet when your help is required you have to give all that you have otherwise you’re a useless friend. Ugh. Isn’t it such a basic thing to do, stick up for a friend when they need you? Well for toxic people it seems to be a hard concept to grasp. Them seeing you suffer is satisfying in an extremely messed up way. It boosts them up and tears you down, now it seems like they have more authority and control over you, now you’re this tiny, inferior person; totally subordinate and subservient. It’s not hard to stand up for something that’s wrong, especially when it’s your friend.

How To Get Rid Of Toxic People

One simple answer, detox your social life.

Cleanse your social media, remove people you no longer talk to and people you haven’t spoken to in a while. Keep everything clean and healthy, we underestimate the power of social media and its effects on our mental well being. Young people are literally run by social media, it’s our generation’s way of being. Look after it, by doing so you’re looking after you.

Sometimes we need to let go of those we deemed closest to us. As we grow we realise we’re not the same as we used to be, we become smarter, more mature and realise some peoples’ actual intentions and demeanour.  The first step to reaching our new found happiness is saying goodbye to the ones who have brought us down, failed us, hurt us, the list goes on. Spend your time focusing on yourself and making a better version of yourself. Have a fresh start, concentrate on you.

Does any of this information resonate with you? If it does, first I’m sorry, but I’m so happy for you also. You’re taking a step in the right direction. Say no for once, ditch that boy/girl who’s made you feel bad about yourself for ages, pursue that hobby they all said you shouldn’t do, wear that t shirt, listen to that music; stick up for yourself. These people exist to make you feel bad about being you. There are people out there who will empower you, make you the best version of you, teach you new things and guide you to success. This all part of the game. These people are the bad guys you need to defeat. The good guys are at the end of the game. It’s all a learning curve.

Find people who accept you and your life choices.

K x

 

 

 

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Thursday’s Thoughts

“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anyone or anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy.”

This summer I have learnt a lot about myself and have seemingly brought myself out of a hole I never thought I could. I’ve decided what I want in life and what I want to do with my life and putting the past behind me is exactly what I need to do. Surround yourself with people who have a good influence on you, be yourself and be happy.

10 Ways To De-Stress After A Long Day

Stressed, lethargic, ready to relax after a long day. I always have a few go to remedies to relieve stress and I can’t quite picture how high my blood pressure would be without them. It’s so easy to underestimate the negative impact of stress and the positive impact of simple stress relieving activities. I’m going to share with you some of my go to palliative methods that help me (and hopefully you) decompress, chill out and relax without a load of pseudo-science.

A Hot Bath – Ahhh my favourite first. I love taking baths, whether I’m stressed or just want to chill out for a bit. I stick some music on, run the water nice and hot, add some bubble bath and end up laying in there for far too long. Afterwards I feel so much more relaxed, most likely because all my muscles and joints have loosened up, by then it’s a perfect time for me to go to bed, stick some trash TV on and wind down before sleep.

Hypnosis – Here’s one you might not have thought of. Hypnosis is a great way to ease your mind and can be done at home with a laptop, headphones and some peace and quiet. There’s a particular channel I go to for hypnosis and it’s worked great for me when I’ve been stressed, I’ll link the channel underneath this paragraph. During hypnosis your breathing becomes slower and your heart rate drops as you enter that trance state. This is exactly what everyone needs when they’re stressed. It might seem strange, but give it a shot; it takes some practice but it’s a really useful tool to relax.

UltraHypnosis – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfQ_5i_x0r5OOUvt7Wygx7g

Exercise – Exercise is a great way to chill out when you’re stressed. Exercise reduces the levels of the body’s stress hormones and it also releases endorphins (chemicals in the brain that are the body’s natural mood elevators). Therefore going out for a quick jog when you’re feeling stressed can you make you feel 10x better and more relaxed. If you’re feeling stressed after a long day all it takes is some exercise to increase the heart rate in order to release some endorphins and you will end up feeling much better.

Watch a funny film/TV series – One of my absolute favourite’s is The Inbetweeners. I have watched the entire box set around 10 times and it never becomes boring. If I’m feeling a bit down or stressed out I will chuck the TV on and giggle away to The Inbetweeners. I would also highly recommend watching the film ‘Bridesmaids‘ if you’re looking for a funny film to cheer you up.

Go for a walk – This is sort of similar to the exercise point but I have always found going for a walk is much more easy to convince yourself to do if you’re stressed out. Go for a walk and take in all the scenery and clear your mind. By the end of the walk your mind will be clear and you will be ready for the rest of your day/night.

Listen to some music – Listening to music is almost like it takes your mind to another place. There is a lot of music out there that is so relatable and can make your mind feel at ease. It can slow your heart rate and decreases the levels of stress hormones. Everyone has their own taste of music but try listening to something other than your chosen genre and see if you like it. You never know, listening to come classical music might relax you.

Meditate – Meditation can help reduce stress and anxiety. You can just take 10 minutes out of your day when you’re feeling stressed and practice meditation. This puts you into state of deep relaxation where the breathing becomes slower, heart rate decreases and the mind is focused on relaxing. Being able to achieve this level of relaxation can be proven to reduce levels of everyday stress.

Disconnect – A great way to de-stress at the end of a long day is turning your phone off. As ironic as it is to be writing about this on a social media site,  social media can have a terrible impact on our well-being. It’s said that 1 in 10 posts on Facebook will contain negative information or imagery. Imagine after a long day all you see is a bunch of negative, draining information; no thank you. As well as being pestered by others by text, phone call etc., turn your phone off every once in a while, it won’t hurt to leave a few messages waiting now and again.

Read – I’m not a huge fan of reading myself but when I get stuck into a book I really like I love reading. I have recently started to read ‘The Chimp Paradox’ by Dr Steven Peters. This book is all about understanding our emotions, thoughts and feelings towards everything in life and crafting the tools to manage these. It helps us rationalise our thoughts and curb anxiety, stress and all the other nuisance issues that come with our emotions. I would highly recommend this book as it’s such an easy and interesting read.

Nap – Well this is pretty self explanatory, have a kip and you’re more than likely going to wake up feeling much better. One of the ways I manage myself is by asking this simple question, ‘Am I tired or hungry?’. Most of the time when I’m stressed, irritable or can’t be bothered to do anything is due to being tired, hungry or both. I guarantee that if you fix one of these you’ll feel much better. So next time you feel your blood pressure rising, ask yourself, ‘Am I tired or hungry?’.

So there we go, just 10 ways to help you de-stress. At the end of the day, things aren’t so bad, take a deep breath, a bath, a nap, whatever it is and allow yourself to relax. Being stressed is a choice (in my opinion), why are you stressed? What can you do about it? Figure these things out to de-clutter and de-stress your life. And don’t forget to read my blog for that extra special stress treatment.

Let me know what you do to de-stress at the end of a long day and if any of my methods helped you relax.

Until next time,

K x

My Skin Routine

I think it’s pretty common for everyone to have some sort of routine for their skin, whether its using certain products or simply just washing their face at a specific time each day. Without a routine my day to day life would become so disorientated it’s unbelievable.

One of the thing’s that’s probably helped my skin the most is not wearing make-up so often anymore. I used to feel like I had to wear make-up in order to feel comfortable in my own skin. All be it I’m not 100% confident walking around with no make-up on but I’m on my way to fixing it. My skin is so much healthier than it used to be because I no longer wear make-up every single day.

I always wash my face morning and night because of my skin type. Due to the fact I have oily/acne prone skin I have to make sure I wash my face otherwise more spots will start to appear. I used to use loads of face washes specifically for acne and blackheads but they never worked and if anything made my skin even worse. I found the following 2 products helped my skin so much and I would highly recommend them if you want a simple daily skin routine.

My daily face wash is the Garnier Skin active Micellar Cleansing Gel Wash for Combination and Sensitive Skin. This face wash retails for £3.99 in Superdrug, it removes make-up, cleanses and mattifies the skin after washing. The first thing I do when I jump into the shower will be wash my face, I will simply foam the gel wash up in my hands and clean my face and neck. After this wash it off and the skin is left feeling smooth and mattified. This also creates a smooth base for your primer/foundation to go onto which is a great bonus.

After washing my face with the face wash I will then use a moisturiser. I use the Simple Kind To Skin Hydrating Light Moisturiser which you can purchase for around £4.30. I’ve used this one for years and I would never use anything else. It contains multi-vitamins (pro-vitamin B5 and vitamin E) which leave the skin feeling smooth and hydrated. I put a small dollop onto the palm of my hand and massage it into my skin and neck. After letting the product soak in my skin is left feeling hydrated and I’m ready for the day ahead.

I’ve tested out an abundance of different skin products to help with acne and oily skin however none of them have ever worked for me. I find using the bare minimum of products help my skin stay healthy and hydrated even if that means I just clean my face with water some days. As well as only using 2 products in my routine I find not wearing make-up that often also reduces the chances of me getting blemishes. If you have oily/combination skin like me I would recommend you make sure you’re always taking off your make-up properly and never leave make-up on overnight.

I’d love to hear what products you use in your daily skin routine and if anyone has any products they think would benefit me please let me know in the comments down below!

See you next time,

K x

Saturday’s Wisdom

“You are one decision a way from a totally different life. Hunt for who you are yet to become.”

Make decisions and stick with them. Change is inevitable, some is unprecedented whilst the latter is conscious. Conscious change is good, all it takes is courage and following that gut feeling. There’s always another chance.

What Really Pushed Me To Start A Blog

If you had told me a few months ago I would be sat behind my laptop blogging, I would have laughed at you. There are so many reasons why I decided I wanted to start blogging but there are a few reasons that really stand out and pushed me to start.

I’ve always liked writing and loved studying English (well I thought I did until it hit A-levels). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a professional writer but for me my blog is an outlet for my feelings, almost like a diary. In school we used to write short stories and diary entries in class and I would love it, just being able to write whatever you like. I decided having a blog would be great to look back on in the future, I will be able to look back on memories and see how far I’ve come. At the end of a long day I love being able to snuggle up in my dressing gown with a cup of tea and start writing.

I have always been a major worrier and struggled with anxiety in the recent months, so for me blogging is an escape from reality and allows me to get my feelings out. It sounds so silly but blogging is almost calming and something you can do to de-stress. Being able to write and express my feelings towards different things helps distract me from the stress of work and school/university and gives me something to look forward to at the end of the day.

Another reason I decided to start a blog was due to the fact I am always watching vloggers on Youtube. I always watch Zoella, Rhiannon Ashlee, Tanya Burr etc and they inspired me to start writing about milestones in my life, review items and many other things. It’s inspired me to do hauls, review make-up and other items, and write about my life in general.

Blogging for me is fun, I love the thrill of people actually enjoying reading my writing. I love that I can interact with my readers as we all have something in common. Over the summer I have been finding myself, trying out different things until I really found something I can enjoy. I’ve never been able to just ‘stick’ with something, I’ve always given up after a few days and got bored. However, I’m pleasantly surprised that I really enjoy blogging and it’s something I’m so glad I have invested my time into. I just love it.

I would love to hear why you started blogging, let me know in the comments below!

See you soon.

K x